FIRST TIME POSITIVE

Hallelujah!!! Praise the Lord!!! Today is the first time positive test result for pregnancy. I woke up early and upon dipping the tester, it immediately show!!! I didn't even have to wait. Before this it was always negative and I spent time waiting for about 3 to 5 minutes to see the same negative result. But today was different!!! I immediately on the lights and showed it to my husband! Instantly his sleepy eyes brightened and there was an ear to ear smile on his face. That smile is so him... Since he has a under bite teeth condition, it makes his pouty lips fill up his whole face whenever he smile and that is exactly the smile that he has... A long wide almost permanent smile.

This is the Home Pregnancy Test of course and I would have to take the lab test to confirm it. But even before I took the test, I was quite confident, it's like I just knew it kind of feeling. I have been feeling lethargic and sleepy as of late. Yesterday for instance, I woke up at 6am to fix breakfast for my husband and then went back to sleep and woke up at 10:30am!!! I did some work and by 15:00pm I am already sleepy and went to sleep till 18:00pm. I cooked dinner and by 22:00, I am already asleep!!! I have been feeling a little cramp on my abdominal as of late and lightheaded. I tried to stick to my exercise program but the vitality seems gone.

I took a Home Pregnancy Test at around early this month and the result was negative and so I wasn't thinking much about it. I thought I was just tired. But yesterday something told me to take it and in my little heart I was quite sure about it.

I love my husband for not having any preferences on whether the child will be a boy or a girl, born in the year of Rabbit or Dragon. He is such a nice man. In fact, I guess I am the one with those hope and wishes... To him, birth is a miracle and a grace from God. I love him for being so grateful.

When I look back, I am overcome by the Holy Spirit and thought of how I prayed and watched those Christian television network. Plus I did some volunteering work in school and also donated quite a bit to a mission in Lampung Sumatra as well as an orphanage in Surabaya. God must have seen those. When I was diagnosed with PCO, the doctor gave me 30 pills to take one for each day and said the respond could be as fast as a month. Calculating back, I think I was already healed even before that...

I am grateful for everything and this is my prayer: That the Lord would bless this pregnancy, sealed it with His grace and Power, protect this pregnancy and be with the child all of his life. That the pregnancy will be smooth till the end and that the child will be born healthy and perfect and that he will grow up to be a successful person that will influence and bless many people. That I will have more child in the future as well.

On the more playful tone, I do actually wish I would have twins... A boy and a girl... If my body allows... :)

Amen

HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE

Right now, I choose to be happy, I choose to be well and I choose to be joyful despite all the things I am facing right now because happiness is a choice.

I cherish my husband :)
I love my husband :)

Am I still a Faith Sojourner?
I certainly hope sooooooooo...

FOLLOWING MY HEART AS IF A COMPASS

I visited a school today. The school belongs to a non-profit organization and the movement was started in Taiwan. Let's refer to it by the initial of TC. Most of the students are that of the less privileged family background. Actually they are very under privileged. They were the victim of government neglect. It was nice to see that the affluent of the country actually have a heart for them.

I was happy about it and it a whisper of self-actualization overcame me. There was an outburst of joyful compassion from my heart and it felt as if I was following my heart. Passion and compassion, the compass of the heart. It awakened the little Faith Sojourner that was left inside of me. Should I say, the diminishing trickle of left over zeal.

It felt as if God had opened a way for me. I always knew that there was a calling for me and through the years of hardship and obstacles, it had opened my heart to see that all I need to do is to freely flow into His will. At the same time, I realized that the biggest barrier is not that imparted by others, but that which is self-created.

Over the years of those preparation time where I experienced hardship, I found myself to listen first and listen more to others, see more than before and feel more than before. It was as if all of my senses are more sensitive and I am able to feel and think more of the stimulus than before.

So I guess here I am Lord once again. Ready to do Your will.
To follow my heart as if a compass

FAITH SOJOURNER WITH LITTLE FAITH AND PRACTICALLY A LOST SOJOURNER

After missing in action for over 2 years, I have finally decided to return to Faith Sojourner mode... Why is this? There's no other explanation but I am having difficulty in life...

What's the matter? I guess it's NO BABIES YET!!! I have been married for over 3 months now and by the way it took me a very long time to finally sell myself off!!! And just as I thought that I am safe and sound in the promised land... where there is milk and honey flowing... I see no sign of babies popping out of me!!! Thus so I have no other alternative but to 'once again lay myself down at His feet'. That line is a classic traditional cliche and if a non believer read this he or she would have thought that I love smelling other's feet.

Yes!!! Despite the 400 babies target given by our bestman, there is no baby in the near sight for us yet. I have consulted with a doctor and she said the sudden weight gain during honeymoon causes imbalance in my system. Therefore adjustments need to be done in prior. NOTE: I am unwilling to blame my greed with food during the honeymoon because that's what honeymoon is supposed to be all about; sit, eat, sleep, see and shop.

In the Faith Sojourner realm, I should and therefore I will believe that it is only the will of God for anyone to be able to have a baby and so I try to minimize mourning over such matter and focus on what I can do or actually what God wants me to do. Which is hard for now because my super faith has dwindled into a tiny star and I will need to pump it once again.

The good news is I have started going to fellowship and listening to sermons and so it's not just NATO 'no action talk only'. I have also been meaning to establish a prayer schedule but was held up by the effect of medication. Tomorrow is the last pill I have to swallow and then I plan to have my energy back. This medication causes lethargy for some reason and it's a common side effect. It's actually a medication for a diabetic to suppress sugar level by decreasing sugar absorption but along the way something is changing with the insulin. Anyways, I feel lethargic, that's all that I could think of.

BTW I am actually trying to get back on track by taking ERA Sales System Training. It will come handy in the future but for now I am still confused on where to go and what to do. There's what my parents want me to do and there's what I want to do. There's what I am good at doing and there's what my parents hope I will do. For years I have been confused. Torn between doing what I like and liking what I do. In the former case, I would feel unfilial towards my parents while in the later case I feel like I am missing out. I need to lay it down on what I would do. In short the training was free and so why not jump into it...

Once again, let me remind myself that in the end, it's really discovering what God wants me to do...
Jesus Christ, come into my life and please touch me so I know what to do...

Sincerely clueless Faith Sojourner, this time with little faith and practically a lost sojourner